I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
