Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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