the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
