If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
