Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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