Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
