If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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