i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
