This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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