i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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