How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
