it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
