So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
