O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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