I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
