508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
