He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
