he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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