If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
