Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
