I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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