I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I will be naked everywhere
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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