Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
