hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
