1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
