I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
