she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
