I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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