We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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