my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize