I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
