Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
