sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I touched a dick in church today
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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