dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
