Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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