Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
