Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
