lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
