i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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