y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
