you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
