you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
