I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
