Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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