I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
