is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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