mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
