I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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