dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
