So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
