I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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