your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
