My brain says no but my pants say off.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
