i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
