she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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