...so i touched it.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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